A WEEKEND OF WELLNESS TO TURN YOUR LIFE AROUND
As a physical therapist, I listen to people’s fears about their bodies breaking down. I respond by talking about taking care of yourself, but people seldom put that first. They seem to think it’s selfish. In fact, it’s an essential first step to being there for others.
Give Yourself Permission to Slow Down
Self-care actually begins with forgiveness, giving yourself permission to slow down, breathe and heal. We are a part of the world we live in: the moon, the tides, the air we breathe. Our bodies react to subtle changes in wind and weather, often before we’re consciously aware of them.
But our minds are busy trying to keep us safe from dangers, real and imagined:
What if I go to this party and no one talks to me?
What if I board the plane and it crashes?
What if I’m late to work one more time and my boss fires me?
Look at that guy up ahead. What if I try to pass him and he hits me?
Fear is familiar. But fears disconnect us from reality. And, fear is exhausting.
Get Off the Hamster Wheel of Anxiety and Stress
Sooner or later we realize: enough. Time to get off the hamster wheel of nonstop anxiety and stress. Time to stop spinning stories of future disasters and accept where I am right now.
I’m okay. I am peaceful. I’m hanging out with family and friends. I can smile. Life is sweet. In this moment, life is, and it is good.
What ifs drive us apart from those we love and those who would like to love us.
What is draws us closer to love.
As Louise Hay explains in her book Life Loves You, “our experience of the world mirrors our relationship with ourselves.”
If we don’t love ourselves, the world doesn’t seem to love us. Because it reflects — like a mirror — our fears. If we indulge in negative thoughts, negative experiences come at us, one after another.
If we don’t love ourselves, we’re out of sync with all that is good in a universe created out of Love. But how do you love when you’re so used to fear?
Find something to love about you.
Maybe, when you were a kid, you were the one who could hold your breath the longest, going through a tunnel. Maybe, when you were a teenager, you discovered something you were good at. Reach back as far as you have to. You’ll find something. With a little effort, you’ll find more to love.
Try accepting compliments without reservation. Just say, “thank you” and smile.
Be in the moment, and realize it’s okay.
Connecting with others, choosing to love them reminds us we’re lovable too.
Make Time for Self-Care
If you’re having trouble making time for self-care, accept that it’s just not a priority for you. That’s where you are right now. How can you move forward? Asking for help is one option.
“I keep forgetting to make time to walk around the park after dinner. Would you like to go with me? We could help each other get in shape.”
Realize there’s always a disconnect between a world created out of Love, a world in which we are to love each other, and our stubborn refusal to love ourselves.
We’re out of sync. When the world reflects back our own self-hatred, love seems like a foolish, unrealistic choice.
It feels like we’re lying, to look in the mirror and say “I love you.”
Do it anyway. It’s an amazing feeling, once you realize life isn’t against you. We’ve all believed silly lies learned in childhood. But this isn’t about blaming our parents either. Heck, they didn’t know any better. They did the best they could with what they’d been taught. It’s about simply breaking the chain.
Walk over to a full-length mirror. Look yourself in the eye: “I am good I am lovable. Here I am”
Do that every day until it’s true. Until you accept it. When we’ve been living with lies for a long time, the truth feels strange. We like the familiar, however much it hurts us. It feels safe, but it’s not.
I’m a horrible person.
Nobody likes me.
Bad things always happen to me.
One of the Three Little Pigs built his house on shifting sands. One good storm wiped him out. When we build our house on lies, we’re just like that little piggie, waiting for a wipe-out, expecting disaster to strike at any moment.
Digging down deep, to lay the stone for a solid foundation is hard work. It’s best not to go it alone. Others are on the same journey. The good news is, it’s not hard to find them.
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I’m Amanda Carpenter, physical therapist and nutrigenomics expert, based at Carpenter Physical Therapy in Warrensburg, New York. My husband, Jason Hupe, a dedicated health coach, and host COR Health Solutions’ Vitality Retreats. During our weekends of wellness you’ll:
• Understand the practical necessity of self-care.
• Learn the Five Non-Negotiables that help you heal.
• Be well-fed, nourished and energized by a weekend of wonder and discovery.
• Find new friends amongst like-minded individuals who wish to continue their health journey.
• Join the six-month Online Vitality Program and stay on course with guided health coaching.
Don’t let this be a good idea that never comes to fruition. Invest in yourself. Look past the lies you once believed and discover how wonderful you are. Stay in touch, even after you drive away. Relax into the joy of knowing you are loved and lovable, healthy and well once again. Then, the real joy is in seeing how this new knowledge plays out in your life and the lives of those you love.